More Than a Year

Mom visited Susan and me in Los Angeles a few weeks ago. She's doing fine and we had a great time while she was here.

I've thought a lot about reopening this blog to talk about how much I miss my Dad, but it seemed (seems) either maudlin or self-indulgent or both. Regardless, here I am.

Over the past year and a half, I have missed Dad every day.  I know God has a plan and that He works it out in ways that are beyond my understanding.

INTERNAL MUSING - I wonder why it is that we humans find it so hard to admit, acknowledge or accept that there is a power beyond our understanding. In other words, why can't we be comfortable with the fact that we can't understand everything? We have no difficulty understanding and living with limitations in other aspects of life.

We accept physical limitations without any apparent angst. Same with emotional limitations. It seems only when we run up against our intellectual shortcomings that we flinch and rationalize our way to the false comfort that "maybe we don't know now, but it's only a matter of time." Really? We don't rationalize that "maybe no one has run a 30 second mile, but it's only a matter of time," so why are we do feel the need to rationalize intellectual shortcomings? End internal musing.

It is so easy to flail about (mentally) and say that it's not fair that Dad's been taken away. But, when I stop and really think about it, it's arguably even less fair ("fair" in this sense as getting what we think we have coming to us) that we got to have him around in the first place. Think of the impact that he had on your life and and answer the question - Did you get what you deserved? When I answer that question honestly, I have to admit I got much more than I had coming from my relationship with Miles Runner. Much, much more.

So, I've been trying to focus on the blessing of having been graced with Dad in my life (grace being the means by which we get what we don't deserve). By doing so, that he is gone from this world is made more bearable. And, I have grateful heart that enables me to make an effort - pitifully limited though it is - to reach others the way Dad did.

Blessings,
Woody